I Think Therefore I Am! (You are not "I Am" so how can you know?)
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I remember a while back I thought I had all of the answers; I thought I knew how to incorporate spirituality in my everyday school life. These last few weeks have been quite hard. They proved me wrong. I was not ready to handle a lot of what occurred. Let's just say that I had a dark last few weeks. I have been questioning many aspects of my faith. I originally accepted this as a natural course I would have to deal with, so I delved further into inquisition. This was a steep slope. Depression soon set in, as values and beliefs I once thought to be perfectly tenable did not have the same resilience. Philosophy is a dark and dangerous place. I never want to go back there again. When given access to ones values, it rips them apart. Please do not entertain it. It enthralls you and destroys concepts with such ferocity that it is unimaginable. The weird thing is that no matter what you believe, philosophy can rip it apart. If you seek an answer, you will find one that makes perfect sense in your mind. It will make so much sense that it is horrific. This is because philosophy is fueled by the need to find an answer. It will never stop until a false answer passes logical reasoning. At that point conclusions make perfect sense, but in reality they are so twisted and wrong. These last few weeks have been some of the scariest I have ever experienced. The good thing is that I now realize that philosophy is flawed. With logic at its heart it can never be perfect. The conclusions come out of a need for questions to be answered. Is this clear?

Logic was my problem. I like to approach situations with logic, only then do I really believe I own something. The crazy thing was that my logic, these last weeks, has not agreed with my faith. School in all of its monotony mixed with lots of pointless mental labor also set a bad mood. Anyway, the unpredictable surprise has been the fact that I now realize, via logic (haha), that my logic can never be perfect. (How much does that say about my theory? Not much, I guess.) As much as it makes sense in my head, my logic is flawed. I can never know that what I perceive is a proper base for cognitive reason to stand on or if my thinking is erroneous because of chemical interaction within my brain. In other words, I have realized that I cannot trust myself with matters of as much importance as faith. Also, even though the point of all of the reasoning is to find a suitable answer to life, I will never be happy because I do not possess the capabilities to answer most of life's questions. That contradiction with my lifestyle originally made me despondent, but upon further reflection I eventually realized that all of the happiest times in my life derived from faith and its practice. Faith cannot be explained, yet it does wonders. It is what you do with what you are taught that makes faith worth while. We are inherently good, so even though faith may not make sense, seems foolish, or sometimes even seems outright wrong, it is what you do with it that takes you one step further in the right direction. So while we may question faith sometimes, in the end none of that accomplishes anything.

I think it is quite ingenious how God created a world in which all of his creation could exist on the same level of function regardless of mental prowess. There have been many brilliant men who, through intense thought, have come up with the same conclusions as a five year-old. All thought ends up at the same place. Try answering a question and you will find two more that you will never answer. Who is closer to the answer to life: Plato or Jaden? God is kind of like the producers of "LOST" he creates enjoyable viewing for everyone. Some people decrypt Morris Code from blinking florescent lights in random scenes, while others just enjoy the characters. God created the universe to be perfectly enjoyed by you and by how you think. Cool huh?!

Now do not get me wrong, logic has it's place, but most of the time is is not reliable because bias is created when emotions or other things beyond our control come into play. I think it is good for screening possible choices in faith, but not for questioning. Simply because it is limited. True happiness comes from God, not from understanding. Why? Because only God can truly understand. Share with one another, have fun, believe what you have come to accept. Life will be much more enjoyable. Even if some parts of what you believe are wrong you will still end up happier in the end. So strive for the unattainable or illogical, because if you did not, then what chance would you ever have at attaining? It is only possible to do something if you believe it is possible and you attempt it. Failure is something we learn from which ultimately makes us more likely to succeed. So with this paradigm, you will never be sad if you do not succeed, just more eager to succeed!

Moral: Work for God, do not waste time rationalizing. You will be happier, even if some nuances do not make sense, because you will have accomplished great things.

It is the simple things in life that have the most meaning. One song took me out of my 3 week mood. Music is so powerful. It is crazy just how much leverage simplicity has. It is called "Casimir Pulaski Day" by Sufjan Stevens. It made me reflect on God, life and the importance of life and God. No more Nietzsche! Yay!

by iphonenotifyiphonenotify 1237933533|%O ago (%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z) Facebookdigg

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